Is Truth subjective? I have spent much time this past year reflecting on how to attract Truth into my life and what that would mean to my own personal happiness. It is my personal belief that everything starts with Truth. With Truth, you can attract love, kindness, personal connection, intimacy, good work and ultimately much happiness. What I had not considered was whether Truth is subjective to each individual person. Is my Truth not the same as yours?
There is the age old thought that there are three sides to every story: Yours, Mine and the Truth. I am left wondering whether this in the case of our day to day lives. Are there different Truths based on everyone's different perspectives in a given situation?
This is not a revolutionary new thought, there have been arguments over the different ways that people can look at the same situation since the beginning of time. However, in seeking my own personal Truth, I have made some discoveries that have changed the way I look at Truth and those that bring it (or do not bring it) to my life. They are as follows:
* I can only control my own Truth. The only things I can control are my own actions and my own reaction to others. Living by this rule is exceedingly challenging! I think there is always a desire to "win" a disagreement, and to make our own points, even at the expense of our own peace and happiness. Letting go of the need to be right and to have others see you as right is very difficult, but ultimately the only way to find peace in your own life. If I believe in my own Truth, really believe it within my soul, then it doesn't matter who else believes it as well. It needs to be enough to be "right" with myself. If others agree, that's just a bonus. If they don't, it is not necessary for me to "prove" my point. Self-awareness should be my ultimate goal and my ultimate reward.
* If someone in your life cannot give you the Truth you need, you do not need them in your life. This might seem extremely harsh. It is something that I have wrestled with for quite some time and I don't say it lightly. I am by no means saying that if someone doesn't agree with you, then you should just cut them out of your life. If we all did that, we would each be living in a solitary bubble! What I have found, is that when you have someone in your life who consistently does not see your own Truth, and does not see you at all the way you believe you truly are, it can be soul crushing. By the same rule, if someone is unable or unwilling to offer you certain non-negotiable Truths, the result can be devastating. It is always important to be clear in our relationships about what our needs and expectations are from that person. There will never be a time when all those needs are ALWAYS met and acknowledged. However, I have found that there are certain Truths that are so crucial to my own peace and happiness, that these Truths really are non-negotiable to me. For example, for myself, kindness is one of those Truths. If you are in my life and you know me, then I have shown you what is within my soul. You have access to what makes me feel happiness and also what wounds my soul in the deepest possible way. In my sharing of this information and in sharing my open heart with you, if you actively choose to consistently NOT show me kindness, then that leads to great turmoil within my life. For me, this is unacceptable. I acknowledge everyone's right to behave and believe what they do, and I respect my own need to distance myself from consistent negativity and deliberate disregard for my feelings.
* Not everyone knows what the Truth may be. Sometimes, I think it's possible to believe something to be True in the moment, and to mean what you say at the time but not follow through with those beliefs later. This can be tricky. As an innately trusting person, I try to take everyone at their word. In some cases, I think this quality has not served me well. The "actions speak louder than words" adage is a good rule to follow. I am constantly trying to remind myself to align words with actions, and I need to remember to look for this in others. It is always possible for any of us to say something without thinking in a particular moment, and then later realize that perhaps we were really just "caught up in the moment". What is important to remember is that none of us is perfect. Even in our own quests for Truth or whatever it is that you want to attract into your own life, we are flawed. Sometimes we faulter even without intentionally doing it. However, I think it's important, especially if you are a trusting individual, to look at a situation realistically and not in the way you want it to look. Is this person in your life really giving you your Truth, or are they presenting themselves to you in a way they think will be pleasing to you in an effort to capture your heart or attention? This was a big one for me!! There have been several times in my life when people I have loved have presented themselves to me with so many of the qualities I value. Had I truly looked deeper at their actions over a period of time, I would have noticed that while they were presenting as one Truth, their behavior did not align with what they were presenting. This may not seem earth-shattering to you, but it certainly was to me!!! As human beings, I believe that we are programmed to please and want to be liked. It has been my experience that some people will take this to another level. In an effort to "catch" you, they will appear to become your Truth. However, since it is not authentic, eventually there will be a disconnect between what they say and what they do. They don't truly know what your Truth is, they are simply playing a role in order to please you. For me, this has been difficult to spot, but I am working hard to try to recognize it quickly.
* The Truth may not set you free, but it sure will make you happier. Although I certainly have found it challenging to find the Truth I seek, I am a happier person just knowing that I am seeking it. It is a kind of dichotomy, because in being really focused on my quest, I have spent much time on my own. I am a pretty social being, so this is a bit out of my normal comfort zone. But, as in all Fearless pursuits, I am trying to embrace my solitude and use it to understand what Truths lay inside me. I am discovering new things each day, and I am becoming stronger, more peaceful, and more appreciative of myself and the world around me. This is a good thing!!!
So, is the Truth subjective? You bet it is! The bigger question is: What Truth are you seeking to attract and what Truths are non-negotiable to you? Figure the answer to that question, and you are halfway to creating your own happiness!!!
Wishing you Truth and Happiness today and always!!!